Notes on Stupidity

STUPIDITY: AN EXPLORATION

You’re not stupid, said my Aunt Molly.

Of course not, why would I be?

Your mother always said you were stupid, but you’re not stupid at all. You’re very smart!

Don’t listen to what Jeanette said! Aunt Rhoda chimed in. Your mother was always ….um…different.

TRANSMISSION

Stupidity is not transmitted through saliva/
Stupidity is not transmitted through French kissing/
Strands of stupidity are present only in minute amounts/
Insufficient to label saliva as a dangerous fluid/

MORE NOTES ON STUPIDITY

Little Cassie has more brains in her pinky finger than you have in your entire body, said my mother.

“Little Cassie” was my youngest cousin and I wouldn’t have minded the insult as much if she wasn’t so dim-witted.

Furthermore, my mother persisted in calling her “Little Cassie” despite the fact that she developed a pear shape by the age of twelve and had three kids before she turned twenty.

Never mind all that, said my mother. She’s smarter than you’ll ever be.

FUN FACTS ABOUT TRANSMISSION

Semen contains insufficient strands of stupidity, but is loaded with obsessive/compulsive disorders!

Vaginal fluids carry zero stupidity but you may be justifiably wary of contraction of poor judgment and unexplainable jealous rages!

Sweat is loaded with stupidity, but must be diluted in a human growth hormone cocktail in order to be passed on!

Saliva will not transmit stupidity, although deep kissing may temporarily block neurons of brilliance, causing the recipient to assume many of the idiotic characteristics of the donor.

STUPIDITY AGAIN

I think you’re a little retarded, my mother said seriously, when I burnt my tongue on hot cocoa or misspelled a word.

I hid out in the library, reading books selected for me by the lesbian librarian, Miss Kaye, until we fell out because I desperately wanted to read Tropic of Cancer and she wouldn’t give me permission to borrow it from the adult section.

I smuggled the book out when she wasn’t looking and read it in the candy store.

Boys hung out in front, smoking cigarettes and punching one another.

Never returned to the library.

TRANSMISSION SUMMATION

It is imposible to transmit either pure stupidity or uncut brilliance through body fluids.

Genius is undetectable; however, when engaging in oral sex, the genius is often blinded by the stupid, leaving pockets of profound density, sometimes misdiagnosed as brain lesions.

Additional complications may include outbreaks of senselessness, similar to common skin rashes and allergic reactions. Bursts of creative genius mixed with Benadryl may relieve symptoms.

Prolonged, constant contact between the brilliant and the intensely stupid may cause permanent damage to both parties.

It is therefore recommended that the window be left open when the brilliant and the stupid exchange bodily fluids.

Or, better yet, the door.

Journal of Heroin Love Songs

Thank you JACk hENRY for starting up one of my two favorite online Journals again (the other is Jack Marlowe's Gutter Eloquence, referenced in my previous post), the Journal of Heroin Love Songs and for choosing three of mine to publish first.

This is the link...http://heroinlovesongs1.wordpress.com/2011/03/25/puma-perl/

The first one is dedicated to my German Friend, Golde...appropriately named Hot German Chick!

Hot German Chick

Happy umbrellas cover street endings
on Broome and we make more fun
more fun more fun, stand naked
on deserted streets, I will change
the sheets when I return and you
will make more fun, more fun

Not entirely his or mine, lies
uncover truth on broken beds,
the couch is fully dressed
I wear pillowcases, you’re a peek
a boo girl, crazy genius him, you say,
more fun make, more fun more fun


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dedicated Dope Fiends
Before technology,
there were no cell phones

Hell,
we didn’t even have land lines
except for times of great scores
or unusual industriousness

They never lasted
and eventually wires
were torn out of walls,
used to unclog works
copper sold for pennies

Candles lit half empty
stairwells, climbed six flights
or waited for buckets
to drop before cries
of bajando hit stale air

One guy sat on an easy chair,
glassine bags stashed
between bricks

Sometimes a hand
came up
from a broken toilet

On Second Street.
we climbed through holes
in abandoned buildings

Property values
no longer allow space
for zombies or welfare

NYU grads pay thousands,
live in rooms haunted
by dope fiend eyes, shared
needles, OD’s, dead junkies
saved by their partners,
stories of lifeless bodies
tossed from windows
highly exaggerated

I was there for 20 years,
even I would have noticed

Only passion replaces drugs.

Everything else
is just another dead-end
choice.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Death by F Train
I’ve heard that on a near daily basis
somebody commits suicide
by jumping beneath an F train.

Always, an F train.

The heat index is 107,
my hair is frizzy, and I wonder
if today might be my turn
to play Death by F train.

I am talked out of it.
It would cause subway havoc,
I’m told, endless circulatory re-routing;
people would not reach the library;
a man might kill his wife because
he promised he would if she was late
just one more time.

It would all be my fault.
Again.

I guess I’ll get through another day,
body parts intact, mind scrambled,
like yesterday’s Church Avenue

3 Poems in Gutter Eloquence Magazine

Gutter Eloquence is my favorite online zine. Editor Jack Marlowe is my kind of guy. Mean, gravelly and big. Actually, I've met him, in Texas. Everything's bigger in Texas. Or so they say.
http://www.guttereloquence.com/issue14/puma14a.html

Yippie Tonight!

ALL THE PRESIDENTS WOMEN, POETRY AND PERFORMANCE

Yippie Museum Cafe
9 Bleecker Street, bet. Bowery & Elizabeth
New York, NY

Another DDAY Production!

No admission or minimum, please donate $3 or so to the Yippie Cafe - support the space!

No alcohol, but coffee, tea and random desserts are available!
Limited OPEN MIC - Sign Up early!

Poetry, Performance, Music, and More!
Hosted by the one and only BIG MIKE!

Featuring the Beautiful, Amazing:

FAUX MAUX (Mo Kelly) - The consummate performance artist/actress/ playwright/writer - she has brought her awesomeness all over the world! Creates plays, performances, one-woman shows, and creative havoc of all kinds!!!! Author of NUDE ARTIST MODEL and many other performance pieces! A member of the DDAY Productions trio!

FIONA HELMSLEY - a thirty- something momshell, navel-gazer and recovering fun slut. Her first book, There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City When You’re A Girl Who Gets Naked In The Naked City was released last year. A writer of creative non- fiction and poetry, her work can be found scattered about the print and online worlds while her fashion sense stays static at whatfionaworetoday.tumblr.com.

NICOLE PEYRAFITTE - a performance artist born and raised in the French Pyrenees. She considers herself a Gasco-Rican (1/2 Gascon, 1/2 American) & citizen of Brooklyn. Her work draws on her eclectic heritage and addresses the experiences of negotiating her identity across two continents and four languages. Peyrafitte pursues related multi-cultural and multi-media investigations inspired by places, history, and gastronomy often integrate her voice, texts, visuals and cooking. She has two CD’s out “The Bi-Continental Chowder” & “Whisk! Don’t Churn”.

PUMA PERL – Poet/Writer/Performance Artist/Producer/Curator and co-creator of DDAY Productions and this event - author of the recently released book "knuckle tattoos," the award winning chapbook "Belinda and Her Friends," widely published in journals and anthologies, internationally! Creator of 6 Minutes and Cut and many other pieces!

REBECCA SCHUMEJDA - the author of Falling Forward, a full-length collection of poems (sunnyoutside, 2009); The Map of Our Garden (verve bath, 2009); Dream Big Work Harder (sunnyoutside press 2006); The Tear Duct of the Storm (Green Bean Press, 2001); and the poem "Logic" on a postcard (sunnyoutside). You can find her online at www.rebeccaschumejda.com. Currently, she is working on a collection of poems exploring the pool hall subculture, inspired by her short-lived experience as a co-owner of a pool hall.

BIG MIKE is the author of 2 books, 81 Pounds and Sibling Rivalry and appears in the anthology One Millimeter, all published by Pretty Pollution Press. Big Mike is known for his performance art and was awarded Best Neptune in the 2004 Mermaid Parade in Coney Island.

http://www.yippiemuseum.org/

New Poem

Only writing about one a week lately. This is it, maybe a few more edits to come.

THAT CRAZY GOMEZ FAMILY

Crossing the plaza with my beautiful young husband
Pink Houses, East New York, I was twenty-two,
second child on the way, heard that hair dye
hurts babies, so I let the wild silver streak
through my black curls, neighbors watched
and gossiped, You know the brother from 2H?
His wife’s a vieja with white hair!

Don’t listen to them! sniffed my sister-in-law,
and she turned off her favorite movie,
opened the kitchen window and yelled,
We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!

Go ahead, your turn, she said, and we all
screamed into the courtyard, people laughed,
It’s just that crazy Gomez family again, all in fun
until the pot hit the pavement, and our party
ended like they all did in those days…
police sirens, bloody heads, fists cuffed, bail money

Friday nights, how quickly the sky fell into Saturday
I remember Carmen’s café con leche,
bunk beds and linoleum, long subway rides
back to my lower east side rooms, and then..
junkie death masks knocked, I answered, yes,
come in, life only lasts a minute, but
I was wrong again, neither my tracks
nor my memory expired

I still face the wall, close my eyes,
morning turns my face to glass,
my blood’s a transient boarder,
my body’s single room occupancy, doubles
for rent, my thoughts are king-sized lies,
the windows are nailed shut, the Gomez
family moved to Florida, my back’s
against walls, doors, and yesterday’s
windows, didn’t know it would hurt,
didn’t know it would hurt so much

Across the river, I hear your warning:
The tides turn, Puma, the tides turn…

Coney Island is for Lovers

I have not one, but two love stories on the blog and the video. One is an ex-boyfriend and the story of how we met at the Siren Festival in Coney Island. The other is me and Big Mike and the Mermaid Parade.

http://www.lolasdiary.com/puma-perl-big-mike/

I included photos to accompany the story and am now shown, breasts hanging like a National Geographic centerfold. They didn't look so bad in green, but the ones with the body paint dripping off are rough. She didn't include the photo where we look the happiest in the blog, but it's in the video.

The story of me and my ex-boyfriend, Louie, is here:
http://www.lolasdiary.com/puma-and-louie/

It's a simpler story and the ending is that it ended. I don't have an ending with Big Mike yet.

There is a video too.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=10150099624409323&oid=138587312872199&comments

Coincidentally, I know the winners of the love story contest, Christine and Chris. It is a really sweet story. Mine is more bittersweet, one relationship gone and the other - future unknown at this point. I probably have done everything possible to sabotage and self-sabotage. I have acted as impulsively as I did sending in those photos, which are also in the window of the Broome Street location. I don't feel brave at all right now.

ALL THE PRESIDENTS WOMEN

Next show at the Yippie! Presidents Day, 2/21/11! 6:30-8:30!

Yippie Museum Cafe, 9 Bleecker St, bet Bowery & Elizabeth, NYC

FREE, but please throw something in the can for the Yippies! Coffee, tea, soft beverages available. Limited open mic, sign up early!


Poetry, Performance, Music, and More!
...Hosted by the one and only BIG MIKE!
...
Featuring the Beautiful, Amazing:

FAUX MAUX (Mo Kelly) - The consummate performance artist/actress/ playwright/writer - she has brought her awesomeness all over the world! Creates plays, performances, one-woman shows, and creative havoc of all kinds!!!! Author of NUDE ARTIST MODEL and many other performance pieces! A member of the DDAY Productions trio!

FIONA HELMSLEY - a thirty- something momshell, navel-gazer and recovering fun slut. Her first book, There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City When You’re A Girl Who Gets Naked In The Naked City was released last year. A writer of creative non- fiction and poetry, her work can be found scattered about the print and online worlds while her fashion sense stays static at whatfionaworetoday.tumblr.com.

NICOLE PEYRAFITTE - a performance artist born and raised in the French Pyrenees. She considers herself a Gasco-Rican (1/2 Gascon, 1/2 American) & citizen of Brooklyn. Her work draws on her eclectic heritage and addresses the experiences of negotiating her identity across two continents and four languages. Peyrafitte pursues related multi-cultural and multi-media investigations inspired by places, history, and gastronomy often integrate her voice, texts, visuals and cooking. She has two CD’s out “The Bi-Continental Chowder” & “Whisk! Don’t Churn”.

PUMA PERL – Poet/Writer/Performance Artist/Producer/Curator and co-creator of DDAY Productions and this event - author of the recently released book "knuckle tattoos," the award winning chapbook "Belinda and Her Friends," widely published in journals and anthologies, internationally! Creator of 6 Minutes and Cut and many other pieces!

REBECCA SCHUMEJDA - the author of Falling Forward, a full-length collection of poems (sunnyoutside, 2009); The Map of Our Garden (verve bath, 2009); Dream Big Work Harder (sunnyoutside press 2006); The Tear Duct of the Storm (Green Bean Press, 2001); and the poem "Logic" on a postcard (sunnyoutside). You can find her online at www.rebeccaschumejda.com. Currently, she is working on a collection of poems exploring the pool hall subculture, inspired by her short-lived experience as a co-owner of a pool hall.

BIG MIKE is the author of 2 books, 81 Pounds and Sibling Rivalry and appears in the anthology One Millimeter, all published by Pretty Pollution Press. Big Mike is known for his performance art and was awarded Best Neptune in the 2004 Mermaid Parade in Coney Island.See More